Expression And Regret Why I Write

Why I Write

So many things tumble around in all of us that never seems to get resolved. Dreams can help resolve these feelings and may even be our way of realizing the inner turmoil or ecstasy we never allow to be realized consciously. Expression, in any form, allows us to deal with out mind. Subconscious or conscious, for good or ill feelings, moods, temperament, spirit and soul are always moving within our lives. No matter whether we are controlled or controlling, boisterous or quiet , introvert or extrovert we need to emote, express, communicate and otherwise deal with our insides on the outside.

Even the most isolated hermit (if he/she can retain their sanity) finds a way to express their lives. Tom Hanks in "Castaway" perfectly depicted this need. My life has been so full and so wonderful

(full of wonder) I decided to write. My sweet soulmate has always given me an outlet to emote on most levels. Always there and especially when I need her most she has made my life very special. There is another need that I always knew existed beyond that relationship, the need to write.

Expression of everything and anything is my all consuming and new avocation. To write in streams of words that push their way through my mind when I open it completely. I started a few short years ago as part of learning to create a web page and continue now with this second page. I am now seriously working to improve my expression so one day I can say I laid myself out to be admired or ridiculed. I do this to avoid the regret that comes with never daring to dance.

In high school I wrote the first poem

I remember writing. It was written in my bitter days after learning I had Rheumatoid Arthritis and would never be able to pursue a career in baseball. I was on crutches for almost a year before I had a major remission and was able to walk even if it was with a limp. I really didn't mind being called Chester (consciously) because I liked Dennis Weavers depiction on "Gunsmoke" or having children say "Look he walks funny." But I hated losing my love, baseball. So I wrote

Baseball

To strive

To sweat

To stretch

To strain

Foe what?

A game

I write to express and never regret.